After the party yesterday, we had the following phone conversation:
“What exactly are we doing? I mean, this is wild!!”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not even trying to be discreet anymore. As soon as your wife left, you were grabbing my butt in front of everyone....I felt like her friends were watching me...I know you have to know that they will tell her something!”
“She doesn’t know anything.”
“I don’t think you understand...last week, she called your neighbor while I was sitting there beside him, asking him who exactly is that lady sitting beside him, because she doesn’t know of me....Today, she said ‘I know that’s her but... I’m the one he comes home to at night’. Then a few minutes later, she said ‘I should have stayed at work rather than deal with this crap. I would rather be at work than here right now.’ She knows who I am. What do you think she meant by those statements?”
“She doesn’t know anything.” Chuckling, he said, “You’re acting like a scaredy cat. What, are you afraid?” Apparently, he’s amused.
“I’m afraid for you, yes!!”
“Well, don’t be. I will be okay.”
“Look, I’m just trying to get you to think about this. Maybe now is the time to stop and think about what’s really important here.”
Predictably, he did what he does best when we enter territory he doesn’t want to discuss....he rushed off of the phone.
“I know what’s important, Scaredy Cat. I have to go. We’ll finish this discussion later.”
When he called tonight, he was a bit...reserved....I could barely get a good laugh out of him like I normally can. We didn’t finish our discussion from yesterday, because....well....I left well enough alone. As much as I wish I could, I can’t hold his hand and figure this out for him. He has to figure this out on his own. All that I do know is....if he falls off of the map again soon, I will have to understand why.
9 comments:
Something is not right here.
How can he be in such denial when you are telling him outright the comments you've overheard?
I'm not sure what to make of this yet...
Well I'm just hoping for his sake he really is a wise ass sorta guy who can get himself out of any trouble. Else good luck.
Topaz: His neighbor, who she called last week, denied it as well. My take on it all?? There are some men who rather let everyone find out on their own by their actions rather than tell people what's going on. MM is one of those men--it's very apparent to me that he is beyond caring what anyone thinks or knows at this point.
The Flirt: I'm sure he will be okay, whatever the outcome.
I know it's not my place, but MM is infuriating me! Not because he's choosing to be oblivious, but because it's not only his life being affected, but yours, and that SHOULD matter enough for him to be less dismissive.
(I apologize for my protectiveness...)
:) No, I'm open to honesty here on this blog (as long as it's not an anonymous person being facetious). I am flattered you're being protective, but trust me when I say, I'm okay with whatever the outcome will be. I am not getting my hopes up that it will work out in my favor, because the odds of that happening is slim to none.
But let me pose a question to you...how many men that you have come across that can just come out and say "hey, I'm having an affair with her?" It's rare. With some men, when they get fed up, they just stop caring and just get careless...and that is when the women find out. And I'm speaking from experience and from what I have observed from my own past relationships when I make that statement. And that's the place I think MM is at....he doesn't care, or else he would be more careful, right?
I realize the more that I date that it is rare to find people who can just fess up to things...men tend act out rather than just say it. I'm a communicator...I just say what I'm feeling, but it is rare to get that in return, especially from a man.
I am open to comments from everyone, please let me know if I'm wrong in my line of thinking
Holy Fuck! This is fascinating... :D ....
Your words actually gives me a perspective I hadn't considered prior to reading. I haven't been on the flip side of the coin, so this is enlightening. I'm either the cheater or the one being cheated on. That being said, I am glad you're in a good headspace about the whole thing, and realize the 'carelessness' of action. I'm blessed that both of my men communicate with me, I guess that's why it was hard to understand.
Your observations would have really helped me years ago with my ex, I would have left a lot sooner!
:P
Thanks for the explanation, and to answer your question in the final line, no, I think you have your head on your shoulders and know exactly where it is you stand and are ready to take on any outcome.
I think you are right, he just doesn't care if he is caught. And yes, she knows.
What now?
MLSA: Welcome to my life!
Topaz: I always appreciate your insight! And trust me when I say that you are blessed to have men who communicate, because that is extremely rare!
Kimberly: I don't know what's next, but I'm making an honest attempt at not having any expectations. None whatsoever. If I don't have expectations, then I can't get hurt, right??!!
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