Ahhh, the joys of sex...or not being able to get any.
I hope that I don't offend anyone with this post. If so, don't take it personal.
I want to talk about something that has been somewhat of an 'issue' in recent years. Not a big issue, but an issue none the less.
When I was in my early 20s, it was rare to come across men who had.....issues in the bedroom (in case you're wondering what I'm speaking of, I'm talking about erectile dysfunction). I could have sex for what seemed like hours, and life was grand. I did come across one or two men who would...go soft in the middle of sex, and then attempt to ram a soft penis into my apple pie hole---that would only leave me feeling---sad. I'm serious, after getting my hopes up of a great night of sex, I would get a little sad and depressed because---the anticipation of a great night of sex never materialized.
A decade later.....sex is different. I tend to date men who are about five or more years older than me, so...I've come to realize that erectile dysfunction is more common than not for me nowdays. Maybe it's because I live in a party city and there's a lot of alcohol consumption going on. I dunno.
Well, my question is.....is it okay to suggest a supplement?? Is it taboo for me to say, "your stamina is not quite what it used to be..." Okay, I wouldn't be that frank about it, but is it okay or not okay to make that suggestion? I know that sex is greatly linked to a man's ego, and to suggest that he's not quite 'hitting the mark' is a blow to the ego so.......what is a girl to do??!! Now, I'm not afraid to say what I want and don't want in bed, but how do you tell someone that erectile dysfunction is a problem?
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I've never had to encounter this, but if you're comfortable with the person, then I think you should be able to discuss it in the... non-amorous moments...
This is something I've run into lately too. I have no idea how to broach the topic...hopefully someone has some advice.
ah, a lovely subject to de-lurk on. i recently married the love of my life. i am 25 and he is, soon to be, 36. unfortunately, love does not always keep a dick hard.
HONESTY! that's my opinion. no matter what you say it's a blow to the ego, you can bet on that. just be nice about it and then be open.
it has worked for me. now and in the past. and what do ya know my husband and i haven't had that problem in a LONG, LONG time because i opened the door and made him fully understand that i totally, unequivocally understand. i want his body to work with mine well and so i'm not judging or poking fun. i'm supporting him and i'm pushing uncomfortable subjects out into the open in a cordial, but brutally honest way.
that's my two cents.
Age, situations, guilt (a spouse at home), alcohol, and more, will affect a man's inflationary propensity. Just like the need to practice those Kegels, the rubber stick starts stretching and loosing snap. It only gets weaker with age. Why the "viva viagra" jokes?
I am amazed by the effort younger generation's make to please sex partners. A good man will always want to please his woman, as best as possible. He has learned that enjoyment is mutual. Discusss the matter, with understanding that the above conditions will play some part. It can be a fun way to grow gracefully.
Or, perpetually chase the under-25 boys.
I would think you could be fairly matter of fact about it, at least if the "problem" happens more than once. It's not like the guy isn't already thinking the same thing you are, so maybe someone just needs to say it first.
Riff Dog has an excellent point. It's not like he doesn't notice. Gently talking about it vs. laughing and scorn would seem like the best way to talk about it.
Seriously if it's a problem they're having the only embarrassment they should feel is in not trying to fix it. It is a blow to the ego, but it's a problem, and there's a solution. I guess Mrs. M is right, just be gentle.
That's a difficult one. In many men "ego" isn't just attached to sexual function; it IS sexual function. I've never had the problem--yet!!--but I think I'd appreciate being told direct and up front. They again, you could just suggest one of the many, many supplements advertised on TV--just as an experiment. Or one of the herbal man-stimulants, some of which do work!
Hate to point out the obvious but trying to prolong some foreplay may help.. and/or asking him to pause when he feels he's about to orgasm.. by saying you want it to last longer etc.. he may get the hint without you having to spell it out.. also he can train himself to try not to orgasm if he sees how much pleasure you're receiving.
Hope I make some sense..
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